Minnesota Divorce
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| Family Law | Collaborative Law | Litigation | ||
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Coping With The Family Law Process
You may be going through divorce, requesting modifications to your divorce, demanding payment of money owed to you, or defending against someone else's requests. It is better to do it well the first time, rather than rush to a resolution that will be unsatisfactory in the future. We will guide you through the divorce process. We listen carefully to your concerns and will promptly return your phone calls. Our primary goals are to:
Family court proceedings are foreign to most people and can be intimidating. Several lives are affected by the outcome of a divorce and those interests are best served by a competent and concerned legal professional. Legal Issues vs. Personal Issues
Specific to divorce, Minnesota is a "No Fault" state. Personal issues are not considered by the court. Unfortunately, divorce is possibly one of the most emotionally charged legal cases for many people. More than mere property is involved. Feelings of anger, loss, betrayal, hopelessness, or even vengeance are part of many divorces. The problem is, the court will not consider these things. In Minnesota, divorce has two primary issues: (1) Division of assets, debts, and responsibility for insurance, and (2) the custody of children. The possibility that a client wants some sort of tangible compensation for how the other party has made them feel is not going to be addressed by the court. As your attorney, I understand that these feelings are very important to you, and I wish there were a way for the exercise of the law to assist you through this aspect of a difficult time. But, that is not what the court does. These issues require a different outlet and a different solution. The Emotions
Divorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help, because those individuals may not want to "pick a side." A divorce will introduce you to an entirely new balancing act. Keep in mind that while going through a divorce, you will face numerous demands on your time: meetings with an attorney, accountant and counselor, possibly locating a new residence (and furnishing it) and establishing new lines of credit. Flexible working arrangements, such as job-sharing, or the opportunity to compensate for lost time by working in the evening or on weekends, are other possibilities. You should not let others treat you as an emotional cripple. You are probably already experiencing feelings of helplessness and an inability to control your life. Work may be the only place you can achieve a sense of self-worth and personal strength during this difficult period. The Process
Some people wending their way through the divorce process may experience fatalistic or, conversely, unreasonably hopeful feelings, and may rely on divorce process myths that further complicate the situation (for example, a belief that the system is entirely gender biased). Unfortunately, the legal process is not designed to address emotional issues for the participants. Although there are milestones, such as filing the initial documents, there are no true emotional releases. Even the finalizing of a divorce is a bittersweet experience and is likely to feel like a letdown. No one truly wins in a divorce, because the estate is always divided and both individuals have fewer assets than prior to the divorce. Unfortunately, the legal process is often one of attrition. The time and expense of the legal process often dictates the results as one of the parties can no longer afford the resources or the time to continue to dispute issues. The many difficult aspects of the legal process often cause frustration and result in increased anger and hurt. In combination with the plethora of negative emotions which led to the divorce in the first place, one facing a divorce may turn to revenge as a primary motivation and extend the divorce proceeding to hurt the other spouse. On the other hand, a spouse may prolong the divorce process in the hope that reconciliation might occur. The Solutions
The divorce process is time consuming in even the simplest cases and will make demands upon your schedule. Because the courts and your attorney are probably working the same schedule as you are, it is probable that some absences and interruptions of work will be unavoidable. Court dates, especially, are not optional. Advise your employer immediately of any court dates, as those occasions may require an absence from work for at least one half day. When you provide documentation regarding income or other employment information, keep in mind that the courts have strict guidelines and time limits. Promptly providing the necessary information is essential. Lastly, as an attorney, I remind my clients that the legal process of divorce is basically to divide assets, arrange custody, establish support, and address insurance and debts among other issues. It is not the last argument or the final revenge. While the attorney can assist a person going through the divorce process on the legal matters, emotional help is more appropriately available from close friends or professional counselors. Please contact me if I can ever be of assistance in answering a question about legal representation in the divorce process.
Goldstein Law Office, P.A. is licensed to practice family law in the State of Minnesota: Hennepin County, Ramsey County, Dakota County, Anoka County, Carver County, Scott County, Washington County, Sherburne County, McLeod County and Wright County, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Minnetonka, Plymouth, Wayzata, Maple Grove, Hopkins, St. Louis Park, and surrounding Twin Cities suburbs. Visa • MasterCard • Discover • AMEX accepted
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